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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697661">We Are Nothing But Space Dust Trying To Make Our Way Back To The Stars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niphredilien/pseuds/Niphredilien'>Niphredilien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Maybe We Belong Among The Stars [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Beta'd, Character Death, F/M, Gen, Grieving, New Job, Parent Death, Protective Siblings, Sibling Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:27:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niphredilien/pseuds/Niphredilien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The port of Forostar was quiet for most of the Ennead – one of the reasons that they docked the Formenos here so often – and it was not difficult to spot a head of bright, unruly hair in the almost empty docking bay. The woman stood to the side, a bag slung over her shoulder and another lying at her feet, the red of her jumpsuit a stark contrast to her rather drab surroundings.</i>
</p><hr/><p>Fëanor Ñoldoran is the eldest of five and has been looking after his younger siblings ever since their mother died as their father slowly spiralled further and further away from reality. Nerdanel Urundil has taken up a job on the <i>Formenos</i> after her father's passing to escape the monotony of her life on third moon of Númenor. And so they meet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anairë &amp; Nerdanel (Tolkien), Fëanor | Curufinwë &amp; Finarfin | Arafinwë, Fëanor | Curufinwë &amp; Findis, Fëanor | Curufinwë &amp; Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë, Fëanor | Curufinwë &amp; Finwë, Fëanor | Curufinwë &amp; Írimë | Lalwen, Fëanor | Curufinwë/Nerdanel, The Children of Finwë (Relationship), minor Círdan | Nowë/Írimë | Lalwen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Maybe We Belong Among The Stars [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fëanor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello all!<br/>A new story! Should I be working on Silver Twins, Red Lovers? Yes but unfortunately the next story isn't quite falling into place, so we'll have to wait a bit longer for that. But this story - it's a thing that's been circling around my head for a while because I love a good AU and I wanted to try my hand at some form of Sci-Fi that isn't Star Wars? So, there's this.<br/>As ever, a lot of thanks to my wonderful beta reader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliviacat3/pseuds/oliviacat3">oliviacat3</a> who continues to live with my incredibly weird schedule and my continual retcons. They're amazing.<br/>I might make it into a series one day but I make no promises. My writing schedule is sketchy at best - I have nearly so many WIPs in my Tolkien folder not to mention my other fandoms...<br/>Anyway, I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Chief Engineer Ñoldoran!”</p><p>Fëanor stood bolt upright at the sound of the CA’s voice, hit his head against one of the pipes and rubbed his head, wincing at the throbbing. Rúmil tutted in exasperation.</p><p>“Your presence is required in the Captain’s office.” Rúmil sighed again at his confusion. “There’s a new recruit coming on this quarter and I want you to show her the ropes. And please don’t scare them away this time; we can’t afford it.”</p><p>Fëanor nodded and, at his obvious dismissal, strode off in the direction of his father’s rooms.</p><p>He held his wrist under the scanner and the door slid open. He stepped in, standing awkwardly by the still open door, waiting for his father to notice that he was there, and after a few minutes, gave up and coughed quietly.</p><p>Finwë shot his head up, and his face split into a slightly haphazard smile. “Fee, it’s wonderful to see you!” He exclaimed, moving as if to stand, but pausing halfway, furrowing his brow and settling back down. “When did we last talk? I don’t think I can quite recall it.”</p><p>“This morning, Papa.” Fëanor said evenly, hiding a clenched fist behind his back. “You, me and Fingolfin were talking about what we needed to get at the stop on Númenor.”</p><p>Blinking, Finwë looked down at his desk. “Oh, oh yes. That was it now, wasn’t it! Now, why did I ask you here?”</p><p>“The new recruit?”</p><p>Realisation lit up in his eyes. “Exactly, just a moment.” Finwë started sorting through the scattered papers and tablets on the desk, until he came across what he wanted. “This is the datachip on her. She’s going to be on Númenor, so could you be a dear, and pick her up for me when we dock?”</p><p>“Of course Papa.”</p><p>Finwë pushed himself up from behind his desk, steadied himself against the desk, before striding over to his son and planting a soft kiss against his forehead. “I’m going to go find your mother, she said she would be working on INDIS this quarter. You know, she really shouldn’t be doing anything too strenuous – we shouldn’t want the new baby to be hurt.”</p><p>“Papa, Mama’s dead.” Fëanor reminded him, as gently as he could, while hiding the quaver in his voice. Finwë blinked at his son, and his face fell.</p><p>“Oh yes, I forgot.” He rubbed his forehead tiredly. “You’re a good boy, Fëanor. You’ll be good and look after your brothers and sisters when I’m gone, won’t you?” He asked</p><p>“That shan’t be for a while yet.”</p><p>Finwë smiled distractedly. “You’re right, of course…of course…” He gently ruffled his eldest son’s growing hair and wandered off down the corridor.</p><p>Fëanor slumped against the wall, knocking against the door panel to make the thing close, and slid to the floor. Wrapping his arms around his knees, he let his head fall forward, and sobbed quietly.</p><p>Quite a while later, the door slid open. “Papa, we’re about ten minutes out from Númenor – oh, Fee, what are you – oh <em>Fee</em>.”</p><p>An arm wrapped around his shoulders, pulling Fëanor into his younger brother’s embrace. They sat like that for a moment, before Fëanor tugged himself out of the other’s arms, straightened his pullover and almost violently wiped at his tears.</p><p>“We’ll be landing soon?” He asked, and Fingolfin nodded, standing up beside him, a silent agreement running between them to not speak of what had occurred. “Good. I need to collect the new engineer when we’re in port.”</p><p>“INDIS,” Fingolfin said, addressing the shipboard computer, “Have you activated the docking sequence?”</p><p>“Just waiting for the port to wave us in Ñolo.” She said cheerfully through the office speakers. “You should get up to the bridge – it looks like Lalo is going to get into another fight with Círdan.”</p><p>Fingolfin groaned. “Try and distract them, <em>please</em>. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” He turned to his brother. “I gotta deal with this-”</p><p>“I’ll watch the security tapes later,” Fëanor said, sniffing.</p><p>Fingolfin deadpanned. “Oh good, I cannot wait.”</p><p>He smiled. “Have fun wrangling the gremlin. I’m going to wait by the exit and get off this hunk of metal as soon as physically possible.”</p><p>“You could go now.” Fingolfin suggested innocently and snickered as Fëanor attempted to kick him in the shin. “I’ll meet you at the Forostar canteen at 26:30 ST. That gives you time to show the new recruit the ropes and settle them into their room before you meet us.”</p><p>“Ugh, don’t remind me. If they’re at all like the <em>last</em> engineer I had to bunk with, I’m going to throw myself out of the airlock. They just kept on, and on, and-”</p><p>“-on, and on, and on. I <em>know</em>, <em>I</em> had to listen to you complain for the entire Decrotat!”</p><p>“This is a thoroughly interesting conversation,” Indis broke in, “but I am fairly certain Lalwen just broke Apprentice Círdan’s nose.”</p><p>“Oh fuck. I’m going, I’m going. See you later Fee!”</p><hr/><p>The port of Forostar was quiet for most of the Ennead – one of the reasons that they docked the <em>Formenos</em> here so often – and it was not difficult to spot a head of bright, unruly hair in the almost empty docking bay. The woman stood to the side, a bag slung over her shoulder and another lying at her feet, the red of her jumpsuit a stark contrast to her rather drab surroundings.</p><p>“Nerdanel Urundil?” He asked, as she too spotted him coming towards her. She nodded, offering him a hand to shake. “I’m Fëanor Ñoldoran. You’ll be working with me.” He gingerly took her outstretched hand. “Come. This way.”</p><p>He led her onto the ship silently, past the people milling around, waiting for friends and family, so they could enjoy their night off.</p><p>“You said we upkeep two automations and a miniature fusion reactor in the job description, if I’m correct?” Nerdanel asked as they walked through the corridors, breaking their silence.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll show it to you tomorrow if you want. It was my father’s idea but my implementation and design. It’s terribly dangerous to keep it running too long because the high temperatures can cause the metal to melt and then we’re stuck in dead space with no power, so-”</p><p>“You had to create something that wouldn’t melt under such conditions.”</p><p>“Something very dense.” He agreed. “And so, I created this alloy of Osmium, Hafnium, Tungsten and Plutonium. And it meant that the reactor could be made over ten times smaller so it fits in the ship. No more refuelling needed! With that, the water harvester and the onboard farm, we can theoretically fly forever, if it doesn’t end up getting awfully monotonous.”</p><p>“Space? Monotonous? Surely not.” She gave him an incredulous look at which Fëanor laughed.</p><p>“You would be surprised. I grew up on this ship and I’ve seen people be rather disillusioned with that idea.”</p><p>Nerdanel joined his laughter. “But the stars!”</p><p>“Not quite so cool up close.”</p><p>She sighed dramatically. “There goes all my dreams.”</p><p>“I apologise m’lady. I thought that was covered in the protocols manual.” He paused, giving her a side-eye. “You <em>did</em> read through the protocols manual?”</p><p>“Of course I did.” She scoffed. “I’m not signing any contract without full knowledge of what I’m getting myself into.”</p><p>“I’m glad.” Fëanor replied. “The <em>last</em> person we employed didn’t know <em>anything</em>, and I had to deal with him for an entire rotation.”</p><p>“My father is – was – a great engineer. He taught me well. You shouldn’t have to deal with ignorance with me around.”</p><p>Fëanor had never been brilliant at knowing what to do when someone admitted to loss. He knew he just wanted to ignore that it was there and brushed off any attempts at condolences – but Fingolfin had told him multiple times that most people appreciated it if you showed at least some sympathy.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Apparently this was the wrong thing to say because Nerdanel glared.</p><p>“<em>You</em> didn’t cause the engine of the ship he was working on to explode.”</p><p>There was an uncomfortable silence as they continued down the corridor.</p><p>Fëanor would have hit himself if it weren’t an odd thing to do. The first engineer he could work with that actually knew what they were doing and he went and fucked it up. Trust Ñolo to give him faulty advice.</p><p> “This is our room.” He said, scanning his wrist under the scanner as they reached the door. The door slid open, to reveal the modestly sized bunkroom, one side meticulously tidy but cluttered beyond belief, and the other almost empty of anything beyond a bunk, a desk and a chair.</p><p>Nerdanel slipped past him and dumped her bags on the bunk. Fëanor passed her a card.</p><p>“An entrance card, so you can get around the ship before I log you into the ships databank.” He bit his lip. “I’ll leave you to get settled. If there’s anything you need, my Comm Code is in the protocols manual. If that doesn’t work, I’ll be in the nearby canteen. INDIS will be able to help you find it.”</p><p>He hovered a moment longer in the doorway but when it was clear she no longer wanted him around, spun away and strode down the corridor.</p><hr/><p>“Fee! Over here!”</p><p>The Canteen had exactly one other person in apart from the barkeep. Fëanor did not need his sister to call his name nor to stand on her seat. Findis clearly thought so too, tugging at the leg of Lalwen’s slacks, and sharply reprimanding her.</p><p>“Sorry <em>sir</em>.” She said teasingly, flopping onto the padded bench beside Finarfin. Fëanor flashed the barkeep an apologetic smile and slipped onto the seat between the elder of his siblings.</p><p>“You’re late.”</p><p>“By three minutes. And Ñolo knew why.”</p><p>Lalwen rolled her eyes. “You <em>never </em>take long to take someone around the ship. We expected you on time.”</p><p>Fëanor felt a blush rise to his cheeks and pushed it down violently. “She was interesting!”</p><p>A dramatic gasp rose from all four of his siblings.</p><p>“By the Valar, he finds someone else interesting!”</p><p>“Are you OK? Are you being controlled? Do we need to find an exorcist?”</p><p>“When is the wedding?”</p><p>“You are all incorrigible,” He muttered, sinking down his seat. “I am allowed to find someone intellectually stimulating.”</p><p>“Doesn’t mean it happens often. We are allowed to be surprised.” Fingolfin said, patting his arm comfortingly. “Anyway, it’s nice to know we’ll soon have little Fëanors running around.”</p><p>Fëanor made a rude gesture in his direction, before remembering something.</p><p>“Lalo-”</p><p>Lalwen’s face fell. “No,” She said as Fëanor grinned, leaning forward on the table. “You are not allowed to-”</p><p>“How was Círdan last night?” He asked innocently. “It sounded like you were having a lot of fun.”</p><p>She glowered at him over the top of her beer, and he smiled sweetly back at her as the other three exploded.</p><p>“No way! How long?” Findis asked, leaning over the table, her eyes bright. “I knew you liked him, but-”</p><p>“How?” Fingolfin gave Findis an incredulous look. “Absolutely nothing about their twice daily brawls screamed to me a deep and meaningful attraction.”</p><p>Findis rolled her eyes. “Please, those fights were spectacularly sexually charged. But tell me more Lalo, how is he in bed?”</p><p>Lalwen, never one to be embarrassed by typically embarrassing questions, grinned. “Spectacular!” She exclaimed. “He can do this thing-”</p><p>“No.” Finarfin said sharply, his face a bright shade of red, and Fëanor laughed.</p><p>“Lighten up a bit Aro. It’s just sex.”</p><p>Finarfin buried his face in his hands. “Please can we not talk about this?”</p><p>“Fine, fine.” Lalwen waved her hand. “Aro’s being a baby, so let’s talk about something more tame for his poor little ears.”</p><p>“My ears aren’t little!”</p><p>Fëanor made a show of examining them closely. “They are a bit.”</p><p>“Stop making fun of me!”</p><p>Lalwen pouted and opened her mouth to speak, but whatever it was she was going to say was cut off by something she saw over Fëanor’s shoulder.</p><p>“Círdan!” She exclaimed happily, as the apprentice officer walked in through the doors. She grinned happily, slipping out of the booth. “What’re you doing here? I thought you said Rúmil wanted you to take inventory with him.”</p><p>Círdan did not smile back at her – if anything, Fëanor supposed his face was almost guilty.</p><p>“Yes.” He said quietly. “He sent me to collect you.”</p><p>There was a distinctive drop in cheer in the groups mood at those words, delivered with a mournful sincerity.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Lalwen asked.</p><p>Círdan bit his lip slightly. “It’s your father. He-”</p><p>“He what?” Fëanor asked, rising from his seat and advancing menacingly on the apprentice sailor. He was stopped by Fingolfin’s hand on his wrist, but Círdan had clearly lost his nerve to say whatever it was he was going to say.</p><p>“It would probably be better for Rúmil to tell you.”</p><hr/><p>Rúmil met them at the top of the landing ramp, his face pinched in concern.</p><p>“What happened?” Fëanor demanded as soon as they were close enough, and Rúmil pursed his lips.</p><p>“Your father relapsed Fëanor.”</p><p>Fëanor felt his eyes grow wide. “Where is he?”</p><p>Rúmil stayed silent, pity in his eyes.</p><p>“Rúmil,” Fingolfin began, a slight note of panic in his voice, “Where is he?”</p><p>“I’m sorry. He didn’t make it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>CA - Chief Administrator<br/>ST - Star Time (The standard time of space)<br/>INDIS - Internal Network of Data Intelligence (Shipboard)<br/>Quarter - the equivalent of a day (30 hours)<br/>Rotation - the equivalent of a week (4 Quarters)<br/>Decrotat - the equivalent of a month (10 Rotations)<br/>Ennead - the equivalent of a year (9 Decrotats)<br/>Automations - Robots or Droids</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nerdanel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello all!<br/>Here's the second chapter of my attempt at something new!<br/>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nerdanel was beginning to get worried when Fëanor didn’t appear after nearly four hours.</p><p>It wasn’t her place to worry, she knew. She was the new recruit and he was the son of the Captain and her superior officer – he probably wasn’t lying in a crater somewhere completely hammered. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised to find that he was merely avoiding her.</p><p>That would, of course, be her fault.</p><p>Surely he would be back soon?</p><p>She must have fallen asleep at some point as she awoke suddenly to the loud ding of a shipboard computer.</p><p>“All personnel report to the canteen.”</p><p>Nerdanel blinked tiredness out of her eyes as she sat up and smothered a yawn with the crook of her elbow. Blinking owlishly, she looked around the bunkroom.</p><p>The bunk opposite was untouched.</p><p>She sighed, plugging her datapad into the charging port and stretching. She was still wearing the <em>Formenos</em> assigned jumpsuit from the previous night.</p><p>She rolled her neck and it clicked as she got the crick out of it. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door with the card from earlier.</p><p>“Right. The canteen. Now where did Fëanor say…” She trailed off what she was saying to herself as she came face to face with someone else.</p><p>They gave her a smile and offered her a hand. “Elemmírë Aldudénil. I’m the sound technician. You must be Nerdanel.”</p><p>Nerdanel nodded and Elemmírë grinned. “Good. Rúmil – he’s the CA, you’ll see him soon enough – told me to show you around.”</p><p>“Where’s Fëanor?”</p><p>Elemmírë looked troubled. “I suppose he’s with his father. There’s a rumour going around that the Captain is ill again. It’s been happening more and more often now.” They shrugged. “That’s probably what this meeting is all about.</p>
<hr/><p>Elemmírë had not abandoned her the moment they and Nerdanel reached the Canteen but, all the same, Nerdanel was feeling increasingly uncomfortable as they and their friends were engaged in a cheery conversation.</p><p>“You look bored.”</p><p>Nerdanel spun around as her heart nearly jumped out of her throat in shock.</p><p>“Don’t <em>do</em> that!” She exclaimed at the young officer leaning on one of the table behind her.</p><p>She snickered, giving her a lopsided grin. “I’m Anairë. I joined the ship just before the last trip. I can spot a lost soul.”</p><p>“Nerdanel.” Nerdanel leaned back. “Is it always this…?” She paused as she struggled to find exactly the word she was looking for.</p><p>“Crazy? Disorganised? Panic-inducing? Yeah. I’m fairly certain Rúmil is always a moment away from a cardiovascular explosion, poor man.” She twirled lock of black hair around her finger.</p><p>“Oh, Anairë!” One of Elemmírë’s friends spotted Nerdanel’s new acquaintance. “Do you know what this meeting’s about? You’re one of the bridge crew – you <em>always</em> know what’s up.”</p><p>Anairë huffed a laugh. “For once Galadhon, I do <em>not</em>. Ñolo hasn’t told me anything.”</p><p>“Ñolo?” Nerdanel asked as Elemmírë, Galadhon and the other two with them drifted over.</p><p>“Ñolofinwë,” Galadhon explained, “One of First Mate Fingolfin’s names. And you are?”</p><p>Elemmírë made a despairing noise. “Oh bugger. Sorry Nerdanel, I completely forgot to introduce you. This is my boyfriend Galadhon. This is Ivárë. And this is Mithrellas.”</p><p>Nerdanel smiled. “Nerdanel.”</p><p>“Yeah, Ñolo’s said nothing. I’m actually slightly worried – he never came to say goodnight after he went out with his siblings.”</p><p>“Ah, he comes to say goodnight to you!” Mithrellas cooed, looking for all the world like this was the most wonderful thing in the world.</p><p>Anairë blushed. “That is a perfectly normal couple thing to do. Anyway, I-”</p><p>“May I please have your attention?” A young man with a striking resemblance to Fëanor stood on a makeshift stage made of collapsed tables. His face was set and he trained his eyes on the wall at the back of the room. “Last night, my father, Captain Finwë Ñoldoran, came down suddenly with another of his episodes and passed away soon after.”</p><p>The room burst into a horrified chatter. Nerdanel ignored it.</p><p>The room fell into a hush once again as the young man – Fingolfin, Nerdanel supposed – opened his mouth to speak again. “As per my father’s wishes, I shall be taking over the Captaincy of the <em>Formenos</em> for the foreseeable future, unless I am told otherwise by the Council or someone assembled wishes to challenge me for the position.”</p><p>No-one said a thing.</p><p>“My siblings and I will have the customary five quarter mourning period and the ship will stay docked during that time. You are all free to do as you wish.” He blinked rapidly before turning away and striding out of the canteen through a side door.</p><p>A stunned silence followed, broken a moment later by the screeching of a chair.</p><p>Anairë stood abruptly and followed him and everyone took this as a sign to begin talking again and to take their leave.</p><p>Elemmírë took Nerdanel back to the bunkroom she was supposed to share with Fëanor with nary a word, the technician far more demure than they had been when they had first met.</p><p>Nerdanel lay for the rest of the quarter on her bed; she disliked sloth in general but their were rules to memorise and articles to read and young men to ponder.</p>
<hr/><p>After the customary five quarter period of mourning was over, Nerdanel had still not seen Fëanor again. She did not think this odd as he was likely spending time with his siblings after his father’s death but she did – albeit selfishly – wish that he had been there when she had first begun work again.</p><p>Instead, she had been given tools by Rúmil and a quick tour of the mechanical underbelly of the ship by Elemmírë and had spent her shift in the dark, waiting for something to go wrong so she could fix it or for someone to call her over the comms.</p><p>These things happened very rarely and Nerdanel found herself very bored with little to do.</p><p>On the third quarter of work, approximately 34 hours before they took off and departed for the rim, Nerdanel decided that enough was enough.</p><p>Boredom, her father had always said, was a sin. Boredom signalled an idleness of the hands and that would never do. He had then sent her to fix the washing machine which she achieved in under 30 minutes – something she was very proud of, being only 7 at the time.</p><p>She stood from the seat she had been in for nearly three hours and stretched before taking off into the winding corridors that twisted in the depths of the ship.</p><p>The soft hum of machinery was comforting as she wandered, the metal vibrating beneath her fingers as she walked.</p><p>
  <em>“Alright ‘Nel. Let’s turn it on!” The washing machine sputtered, coughed, paused, before bursting to life. </em>
</p><p>She sighed, blinking and shaking her head of the memory. No point in living in the past.</p><p>She continued on her way, thinking of nothing much, just enjoying the feeling of existing in the moment. It was calming and peaceful.</p><p>She was broken out of her state by a loud string of curses, followed by a loud crash, and Fëanor came storming out from a small cranny. He would have collided with her if she had not called out his name and broken his concentration.</p><p>He stared at her for an uncomfortably long number of seconds.</p><p>“Nerdanel?”</p><p>“Yes. Your new bunkmate?”</p><p>“Oh.” He paused. “Are you lost?”</p><p>“No.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. “Just bored. Babi was against boredom on the whole and so, I’ve found, am I. Anyway, my shift is nearly over. Want to eat with me? I’ve found the canteen delightfully empty around this time.”</p>
<hr/><p> Nerdanel did not mention Fëanor’s father and he did not mention hers. They had an unspoken agreement that they avoid all conversation about family.</p><p>She and Fëanor instead talked over the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear fusion as a power source. Then, they took their leave to their bunkroom and continued to talk the matter over far into the time they were meant to be sleeping.</p><p>They spent the next quarter together – Fëanor showing her the ropes properly and Nerdanel asking about various improvements that could be made.</p><p>They spent the quarter after that together, and the quarter after that, and the quarter after <em>that</em>. Quarters turned into rotations, rotations turned into decrotats, and suddenly, Nerdanel had been working on the <em>Formenos</em> for half an ennead.</p><p>They kissed.</p><p>Another rotation passed and suddenly they were together forever.</p><p>Fëanáro’s bunk became an unofficial workbench for whatever he was working on as they both slept together on Nerdanel’s bunk, curled so tightly together it was difficult to work out who started where.</p><p>It was here, in the dark, that they broke their rule and they spoke of their worries and concerns and their deepest fears. Spoke of a past repressed in the back of the mind.</p><p>A mother Nerdanel never knew. A loving father who was away too often and left her behind with an uncaring aunt. The softness she had trained out of herself. Grief she never let herself feel. Her vicious cousins she had to stop herself from punching every time they messed up her room or her school notes. The joy of getting her own job, her own freedom. The feeling of horror when the message came.</p><p>A mother Fëanáro gained when she picked him up on the streets of some backwater planet, abandoned by whoever gave birth to him. A father who worried and loved him and was so enigmatic. Siblings who Míriel and Finwë picked up on the various planets they visited. The sister none of them would ever know, who died the same day Míriel did, both covered in the blood of birth. A father who saw things that weren’t there. A father he loved, saw deteriorate, who died and left him – them, him and his siblings.</p><p>There on that bunk the whole world fell away and it was just them, in that moment.</p><p>Just them, alone, in the galaxy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CA - Chief Administrator<br/>ST - Star Time (The standard time of space)<br/>INDIS - Internal Network of Data Intelligence (Shipboard)<br/>Quarter - the equivalent of a day (30 hours)<br/>Rotation - the equivalent of a week (4 Quarters)<br/>Decrotat - the equivalent of a month (10 Rotations)<br/>Ennead - the equivalent of a year (9 Decrotats)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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